geometry for dummies

I would like to think of myself as having been a bit of a "late bloomer." I'm not meaning in the physical sense of the phrase. What I mean is, I feel like I've finally reached my peak (still, not physically.) More like my peak of happiness. But yet, I feel like by saying this I'm doing my future an injustice. So, if you will, imagine one of those silly looking parabolas, like on a graphing calculator. I would like to plot "me." Naturally, at the beginning I was at the bottom (because as they say, you have to start somewhere.) Then I went through middle school (which sucked) and then high school sucked a little less, but then there was college. And those five and 1/2 years of college were quite a bit more fun. And it just keeps going up. Now, if it were a true parabola, the parabola would begin to come back down after the peak (which I would say for me is starting my career, falling in love, and getting married.) Plateau if you will, parabola, but please don't come back down. Sorry, Mrs. Oberkofler, I probably failed that Geometry test in high school.

Speaking of. This is what prompted my writing tonight. I received a facebook invitation to a 5 year reunion today for my high school class. I read comments of my friends' excitement about being able to see some of the people that they haven't seen in forever. This was not my exact initial reaction. Mine was more along the lines of "heck, no, I'm not going to be friends with you McEachern reunion." High school was definitely not my favorite years of my life. As I mentioned, it was one step above middle school, and middle school was seriously terrible, three years of daily agony I endured.

By saying that I'm a late bloomer, I mean that I just about four years ago finally became comfortable in my own skin, being who I am. I feel like it has to do a lot with some of the great friendships I made in college, my relationship I began with Jameson, and my relationship with the Lord. But I finally now have the self confidence that I painfully needed those 7 years. (If only I knew then what I know now, right?)

So here's the truth: I spent all of high school trying to fit in. I had, amazing taste in music and was fun when you got to know me if any guy ever took the time to. I looked just as awkward as I could have. I weighed about 100 pounds at 5'7'', and no, it was not the attractive kind of skinny. I was skin and bones (Thank goodness for those extra 20 pounds I've packed on!) My self worth was according to what boys thought about me. And of course, according to how I looked and how few guys would actually go to the trouble to get past the exterior to get to know the "fun me," I spent most Friday nights dateless. And yes, Saturdays too. I thought I fell in love my junior year to one particular guy where actually, looking back, I was only the subject of his interest when there wasn't anyone more interesting around. How embarrassing to not have known that then! At several points over the past couple years, I wish I could tell him now what a jerk he was then and how ashamed he should be. But of course, we all know that doesn't really matter anymore (look at how far I've come!) I also had several falling outs with friends and for about 3 out of 4 of them, it was because I finally got fed up with feeling used and taken advantage of and opened my big mouth and told them so. Oh, and needless to say how awkward I felt at the Homecoming dance. And how out of place I felt in my cheerleading outfit. And how I'd arrive when the bell was ringing to avoid the awkwardness of finding a place to stand in senior circle. And while I never ate lunch on the toilet (Mean Girls reference!) I did eat in my mom's office some days! Some true friendships I made there in high school. My good memories of high school include and are in fact limited to: Chelsey Tuggle, some of my teachers, making good grades that got me into college, and running Track and Field and Cross Country. And that's it.

I'm not naive, I know that those years have made me stronger, and made me who I am today but I'm not going to pretend they aren't painful. And six years later, it's ok to admit it. I wouldn't be so quick to defend myself and stand up for what I believe in today if my "friend" had not taken advantage of me so long. And I probably would not have chosen such an amazing husband if I had not let the same guy hurt me time after time after time. My saving grace those days aside from Chelsey were my parents and my relationship with Jesus Christ, the latter which has grown even stronger.

So needless to say, I'm not interested in going to a high school reunion and seeing people that won't remember me. I don't want to be reminded of feeling lonely and out of place all over again. Nor do I have any interest in showing off "how far I've come" with my hot husband, my college diploma and grad school work, or my new found self confidence all in tow. I'm happy just the way I am. I've peaked. And really, I only think it's going to get better than this. Take that, graphing calculator!

I'll be seeing you,

AK

free as we'll ever be.

Hello all,

Just a fair warning that my thoughts aren't making sense tonight. I have a lot running through my head. The best way to make it through each thought is to utilize my incredible list-making ability. I will probably do this pretty often.

1. I just watched an episode of House Hunters where a couple saved their money for a long time and bought a vacation home in Roatan in the Caribbean for a whopping 800k. That would be a wonderful budget. So, naturally, this got me started thinking how wonderful it would be to be able to one day purchase a vacation home for Jameson and I to enjoy with family and be able to fly down at leisure and maybe eventually retire to.

Then I thought we might not ever have that kind of money, it's SO hard to think about buying a second piece of property when it's tough enough to make one mortgage payment each month along with all the bills required to run the place. I can't imagine ever having the money to run more than one home.

So, thinking even further I realized: if we had the kind of money to ever do that, there's no way I'd want to. Seriously.

First of all I can't imagine hopping on a plane and going to a "foreign" island without any familiarity at all and staying there for weeks. I mean, what would I eat? Probably just pudding cups all the time (SATC reference there) and bottled water. I mean, Florida is far enough anyway if I wanted a vacation home!

And secondly, in all seriousness, I cannot imagine putting out the money for it if we had it when there are so many people that are without even one place to live. And having two? That just seems ridiculous to me. I'm not knocking those who have many a vacation home-- good for you. But I'm convicted that with that kind of money I should be helping those who are far less fortunate. Imagine where that 800,000 dollars could go. Imagine how many homes that could build in Haiti! I don't even have enough sense to imagine. Probably a neighborhood much nicer than some of those people have ever seen, much less lived in. I think I would be a much happier, more fulfilled person if I could donate 25 + new homes to people without homes than to buy a second home for me. This is all hypothetical that I ever had that kind of money, which I doubt. But, just a thought.

2. I am so extremely blessed. I thank God every day for my family. I have such a great husband who is a life partner, best friend, and my soul mate. I have the coolest puppy ever. I have a house with a ton of stuff in it. And I have a great job. I have made some pretty awesome friends in Birmingham too. Yet-- why is it never enough? It's always about what car I want next, how the end unit on the condos would be so much better to live in, how I'd be so much happier if we lived in Atlanta, what will happen when I graduate, and when we can start our family. I, just like I'm sure the grand majority of people, am never happy with "now." There's always something better just outside of my reach. I want to make this one of my goals. I want to focus on being happy with where I am in life rather than putting my focus on the things I don't have. I want to realize that my happiness is now, just like my quote "happiness is not a destination, but a way of life." I want this to really be my motto. I know I see quotes like this all the time, but this time, I really want to live by this one. I don't want to waste my life always wanting more, I want to live my life fully, being completely happy. I'm doing just fine without the backyard, 1.5 kids, and God has Jameson and me here in Birmingham for a purpose. Plus, I need to continue to find happiness in Him, not in things.

Here's a side note that does not necessarily deserve it's own number: I feel like I've come a long way in my spiritual journey. I feel like that statement above is almost slapping myself in the face, because I feel like I have overcome materialism over the probably close to a decade. Yes, I do love shopping, and yes pleazzz, I want THAT purse, but I know that whatever I buy does not define me, and they definitely do not make me happy. I remember the sadness I've felt in life when I would get my apartment finally decorated just the way I wanted to and the emptiness I would feel when that happiness faded. I'd then have to find my next project to complete so I could feel happy again. I now know that happiness is not found in things, and I know I've reached a point in my relationship with Christ where I am beyond needing things to make me happy. I can only find my happiness through Him and through what He provides to me. Side note ended.

3. My dog just chewed up my most comfortable flip flop. And I had to pick pieces up off of the floor. Dang the puppy stage. However, we have had very very few accidents. O'Reilly is just so smart. He rings the bell at the front door to let me know he needs to potty. And about 20% of the day he's very playful, but about 80% he's really laid back and chews or naps. We took him over to one of the fields outside our condo tonight and played soccer and he got a great work out... apparently not enough though. RIP yoga mat flip flop.

4. I have had a great week so far. For a recap: I spent Monday and a lot of Tuesday cleaning and doing laundry. I had a lot of catching up to do after working 7 days straight. I finally got most things put away upstairs, but still have a lot of pictures to hang and wall space to fill. We took Reilly to the park or did something active just about every day this week. And the most exciting part of the week so far is that my cousin came to town yesterday. We had a great time shopping around and just catching up. We also saw Eclipse for the second time. Go ahead say it, I'm a Twilight dork, I know. Tonight Jameson and I had dinner with Leslie and Peter which is always fun. And tomorrow we are going to Atlanta for the weekend to see a Braves game, maybe go to the aquarium, and hopefully see our new little niece. Then it's back to the grind. I will be working a few weeks from 7am-3pm Monday-Friday before I go to nights.

5. I have the greatest parents in all the world. I have been so fortunate for parents that have modeled a great marriage for me and showed me the kind of love that I will want to show my kids one day. My mom is my best friend, but tonight I was thinking about my dad. I love my dad so much, I would do anything for him, no questions asked and I know he'd do the same for me. He is a great teacher, listener, and advice giver because he's very wise. He's also so caring and always wants the best for me. My dad truly has displayed what unconditional love is. There have been times when I'm sure I've disappointed him, but the way he has treated me has never changed. There's no one in my life who has ever been more patient with me, for example: on the golf course. Yet, there's just about no one either who expects more out of me. My dad motivates me so much to be the best that I can be. I am so fortunate to have him. For those of you who know him, you can probably see these qualities from miles away, and for those of you who don't, you need to meet him. I just miss seeing him so much, and I can't tell you how badly I've craved 18 holes of golf with him lately. I'm sure he could find him a job in Birmingham, just saying.

6. Last, I promise. One other thought for tonight. I need to get into shape soooo badly. I really miss running. But, I miss the easy kind of running where I can breathe without a problem, where I'm not miserably hot, when I can go for miles, and when I don't feel like yakking when I'm done. So, if I start back running, I'm no fool, I know the first few days are going to be miserable, especially with the heat the way it is. But I am so tired of feeling lazy and inactive that I have got to do something. And I am in fact completely adverse to treadmills. Hate them, can't run on them, and no one could pay me to get on one. Much less would I pay to join a gym to use one! So, alas, will I get up early (#1 thing I hate), get out in this heat (#2 thing I hate), and get my butt back into shape (which will probably involve yakking... which who likes that anyways?)? God only knows what 8am brings when my alarm goes off.

That's what has been on my mind. Sometimes deep, sometimes dumb. Hey, take what you can get, Leslie!

I'll be seeing you.

AK

Sweet home Alabama.

This is Anna writing our first post. It's hard to believe that Jameson and I started our life together as a married couple two years ago this August. So very much has happened to us in this short amount of time.

For starters, I finally graduated from nursing school and passed my RN boards! It sure did take me long enough. Jameson graduated with a degree in GIS which is how we ended up in Birmingham, Alabama. Fortunately I too landed a great job at Children's Hospital here in Birmingham where I signed onto a six-month internship program where I spent 8 weeks in three different units in order to find the one I liked the best. I am proud to now call my permanent work-home the NICU!

We've also purchased a new home! I love our new home, it's perfect for us. It is a townhome, so we can carry on with our busy lives and not worry about keeping up a yard. We also have a pool that we can use. I love the little neighborhood, I feel safe at night with the sidewalks and street lights. After we settled into our new home, we decided to continue chasing the American dream, if you will, and we adopted a puppy. His name is O'Reilly and he is a goldendoodle. He is a feisty one, but he is also very smart and a great addition to our family. So, all we are missing is the two and 1/2 kids. Time for a subject change.

I've also started graduate school to be a pediatric nurse practitioner. I'm taking online classes at UAB in hopes to graduate December of 2012. It's going to be another long haul. And then I'm hoping to go for the doctorate. I'm on the 8 year plan. Again.

Jameson and I both really like Birmingham, but despite my great job and the new friends I've made, I'm still lonely sometimes. Jameson is Jameson, and for those of you who know him, you know how quickly he makes friends, finds something to do, and plays for every league team he can sign up for at work including but not limited to softball, soccer, basketball, disc golf, and bowling. I'm serious. And for those of you who know me, you'd think the same thing, that I've probably already made a ton of friends and settled into my new life over here. That's not necessarily true. And I really do not know what has gotten into me. In my defense, my schedule has been difficult. I've been working 7 days in a row Monday-Sunday and then having the following 7 off. So naturally, my work weeks are nonstop and exhausting, but my off weeks are really boring and can be pretty lonely. I don't get to see Jameson at all the weeks I work because we work opposite shifts, but I'm hoping that my new schedule will be different.

Honestly though, I do miss my family very much. I miss playing golf with my dad on pretty afternoons and being able to meet my mom for lunch at leisure. Now I'm too far to be able to do that. I have to settle on seeing them once a month or so. I miss all my friends too. Making new friends is really hard these days, it's difficult to find couples that Jameson and I both have things in common with and actually be able to coordinate our schedules to have dinner.

I also really miss my church family. We have not yet been able to get involved like I want to in a church home. I blame this on my crazy work schedule-- I've been having to work every other Sunday, and the Sunday's I've been off have been spent recuperating. However, I really have enjoyed the few times we have been able to visit the Church of Brook Hills. David Platt is such an incredible man of God and I feel his church is the kind I want to be involved in. They seem very mission-minded and I feel that is important in my line of work. I would love to eventually go on several medical mission trips and Brook Hills is a great place to be involved and have those kinds of opportunities.

So, here we are in a new town, exploring. Exploring Birmingham, the things to do here, our calling in life, our relationship with one another, and where we will go (or stay) from here. Birmingham is a great place and we are happy, but is this our next twenty years? Only time will tell.

In the mean time, I'm hoping to get on a normal schedule at work, get involved in church, and maybe make some more couple friends for Jameson and I. Another goal of mine is to get back into shape. I'm happiest running about three miles a day and about ten pounds lighter. I've let myself get pretty lazy. A combination of these things will make Birmingham a happier place. It might even make it "sweet home." :)

I'll be seeing you. -AK